Saturday, March 27, 2010


As the weeks of pregnancy increase - so does a grumpiness factor. This is a direct result of walking funny, not getting a lot of sleep and realizing that you are really too tired to do anything but take naps and eat ice cream.

This was the week that I really started to notice that pregnancy has to only last 4o weeks, because there would be a higher murder rate in the world if it went any longer. With that said, I would like debut a helpful list. These comments have all been made to me in the past week.

Top 5 Comments/Questions That Could Shorten Your Life
This is a very last trimester-pregnancy-specific list. But a valid one that could save lives if they were avoided.

1) You are HUGE.
Really it could be any word related to size - enormous, gigantic, etc. Really? I am? I didn't notice that I was huge when it takes me a solid minute to get out of bed. To get out of bed, I have to do a crazy rocking motion and then use my legs for momentum. Due to my huge size. Thanks for the update buddy.

2) You look like you could burst.
I know I do. I feel like Violet from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who had to be de-juiced to save her life. ("Violet - you're turning violet!") Again - these obvious statements really don't get a chuckle. They get a death glare from the pregnant lady.

3) You have to be ready to deliver any day!
No, actually I still have 3 weeks. But thanks for the reminder that I LOOK as though I am 40 weeks pregnant.

4) You look miserable.
This one is conditional. I had this comment made to me when I had actually made an attempt to look cute - somewhat do my hair and put on make-up and an ensemble that didn't include sweats and Crocs. Physically I am pretty darn tired, but I look miserable? I was trying to look happy. What do I look like when I don't try? Probably worse. :)

5) Are you having twins?/You have to be pregnant with twins!
Luckily for these people, I AM PREGNANT WITH TWINS, but what if I wasn't? What if my body just gets this big when I get pregnant next time with one baby? That comment would probably make me feel pretty bad. As of right now, it is just slightly irritating.

The only disclaimer to this list is a friend/loved one trying to be funny. As if you knew they were joking. For example - the husband can make those comments because it is his pregnancy too and he has a lawful obligation to love my body and the changes it is experiencing. If Darren told me I was huge, I would agree. Then ask him to get a bowl of ice cream for me - to which he would happily oblige. No hard feelings. The check out guy at Home Depot does not get the same consideration.

I am going to write out a helpful list of comments/questions that are kinder and less life-threatening.

Top 5 Comments/Questions That Are Perfectly Acceptable

1) When are you due?
This is a safe comment. But can only be followed with a surprised tone like - "Wow - you are almost there - you don't look like it!" Please don't say - "Wow - you look like you are much further along."

2) Are you having a boy or girl?
This is an easy question and you can focus on the cute baby/babies, not their huge mama.

3) You look incredible!
I know that in most of the cases when I hear this term - it isn't true. But guess what? It is SO NICE TO HEAR. So just tell a white lie and spare the pregnant lady.

4) Are you so excited for your baby/babies to come?
Again, focus on the babies. 99.9% of the time you won't go wrong. (There is a .01% failure rate, but it is very very rare).

5) I hope you are just relaxing and getting rest.
Why thank you. Sleeping is about the only thing I can manage to do :) And not even that well. So I take a lot of naps and drink a lot of cold water.

I bring up the grumpy comments because I had a "situation" this week. I had to get my teeth cleaned. The appointment was early in the morning and I had a rather sleepless night. I had to do that rocking motion thing to get out of bed and physically I was a little worn out. But I got up. Got dressed and lumbered to my appointment.

As soon as I walked in, there were a lot of questions and comments asking about due dates, sexes of the baby/babies. Not a problem. I don't have a problem with those questions at all. They are from kind, curious strangers. I told the ladies working the front desk that I was expecting a boy and girl. That comment usually causes a bit of excitement and again, I was tired, but I didn't mind it. These women were very sweet and excited except for one of them that asked this - "So, are they real twins? Or did a doctor have to help you?"

I can deal with rude people fairly well, but my filter is a little loose when I am really tired. Throw in some hormones, and it could get downright dangerous. Those questions were rude. She had hit on two things.

1) REAL TWINS? I have been carrying 2 babies for almost 9 months. They feel pretty REAL to me!
2) NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS old lady wearing Tinkerbell scrubs! I don't know you. So I don't want to discuss my medical past with you. Just focus on the health of my teeth.

It literally took me about 20 seconds to answer her because I was soooooo irritated. And for a second I thought - Since I am growing/creating two lives right now - doesn't that give me the right to end a life? Especially this one?

Eventually, I put away all of the inappropriate comments that I REALLY wanted to say and simply told her the truth. "Well, we had some trouble getting pregnant. We had to get a little help." Then I stopped talking for fear that something mean would come out.

After my teeth cleaning, I went hope and decided the best medicine for a morning like that was sleep. And maybe a bath, followed by another nap. And food.

This is what my shadow looks like at 35 weeks pregnant. I will post some happier thoughts this week along with some belly pictures, but I thought that even my shadow looks a little funny. :)


Johanna said...

Amen to all of the above. Especially since I have been accused of having twins twice now, the first time during my second trimtester! I get a lot of the you are huge commment and I really wish if people just had to say something along those lines they would say "You're stomach is huge." I really don't like them suggesting that my entire body is huge. That's just rude. Plus I recognize that my stomach is huge. The nurse just told me I have been measuring big so that makes me feel a bit better. Like I have an excuse.

Dani said...

amen! people told chelsea she looked HUGE when she was 4 months along so i totally know what you mean. and my mom got that all the time too and she wasn't even having twins. i think that it's just so rude to ever tell anyone they look tired, it's like saying, "wow, you don't look good at all." how would that ever be an appropriate comment?! anyways you look wonderful and i'm so happy for you! i'm envious too, a boy AND a girl, what a perfect little set:)

s g said...

this was a great post to start off my monday, hang in there Nikki and wow, what self-control you have, I seriously don't think I could have been that nice to the dental chic, what a complete idiot...she should have been fired on the spot!!!

it really is amazing what will come out of peoples mouths, I love your helpful suggestions to others, because even women have been pregnant themselves will say the dumbest things!!!

Amanda said...

You are hilarious! I am cracking up right now, tinker bell scrubs..... But I really mean it when I say that you look incredible, you don't look like you are pregnant with twins in your pictures. My last pregnancy I didn't even go to church for the last couple weeks because I was so tired of people asking when I was due. "You haven't had that baby yet?!" That is a favorite of mine...Bethany has a funny story about how she put her foot in her mouth once to a lady that wasn't pregnant, this was of course before she was ever pregnant. Good luck!

Ryan and Bethany said...

I think even a little swearing could be allowed at such ignorant comments....take no prisoners. When Bethany was pregnant, I certainly gained a new appreciation of all the hardship you go through. Congrats on the twins, you will both be great parents.

Ryan and Bethany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
s g said...

stupid dentists and dental staffers. i think you look fantastic. greg;)

Kristen said...

oh my gosh, nikki!!! first of all, congratulations, just in case i haven't said that to you yet. secondly, HILARIOUS!!! now, i have not had twins. i do have children 12 months and 2 weeks apart, so i guess that is fairly close to being "irish twins", right? anyway, i have big babies. charlie was 9 lbs, 14 oz. so, needless to say, my belly was HUGE. and since i have no upper body, the baby has nowhere to go but out. i got asked if i was having twins when i wasn't and you can imagine how that felt!!! i also got the "you are going to pop" and "it must be any day now" starting from about 5 months on. omg, the memories!!! luckily i didn't get stretch marks either, and i carred most of the weight in my belly but STILL!!! i loved these posts. congrats my friend, we are so excited for you.

Kristen said...

ok, also, just in case you didn't get my gmail chat comment, i wanted to thank you for sharing all of that and making my day. literally laughed so hard tears came out and adam stopped his conference call to ask me what i was reading. i love you nikki!

Melly Mel said...

I totally can relate. It can be miserable as much as you try to look t the positive. The people who say, "I love being pregnant" made me want to tell them to shut it. your shadow is beautiful! peppermint tea helped me feel and look less bloated. i gained a ton of weight. i am so excited for your babies to come out.

Amanda said...

I have no idea what you must be going through right now (never been pregnant), but I think you look darling! I'm so happy for you both! And very excited to see those beautiful little bundles! Congratulations! Now go get some ice cream and take another nap! :)

Connie said...

You are so dang funny. Ater working in an OB office with a lot of pregnant women, I think you have come up with a great list! Unfortunately, the person who is pregnatn never really relizes how beautiful they are when they are pregnant. And to have twins! My gosh, you have reason to glow more than most. It isn't easy being pregnant those last few weeks and carrying twins makes it even harder.
At lease you have a sense of humor . . . I think you got that from your mom. I know she is watching over those little ones until they are put into your arms to care for. They will come to you with lots of love from a very adoring grandmother on the other side!
Best wishes these next few weeks . . . and thank you for the laugh this morning! (Please don't hate me for laughing)
Connie Jewkes

spils said...


Corinne said...

Nikki, I miss you so! I'm SO glad I can follow you on your blog. Good luck with the next few weeks. You're amazing.

Carolyn said...

You are hilarious! I can't believe the dentist office comment! What nerve. Those are situations where I really want to say something snappy and witty right back, but can't think of anything great until hours later while I'm steaming over the whole thing. Oh well.

But anyways, I loved this post! I can totally relate. Sleeping... how I miss it. And I guess we won't be getting much of it after they come either, huh! I hate getting out of bed every two hours at night for the loo. I work up a sweat just with that. Good luck, keep posting because I love hearing how you are doing!

Tasha said...

I can totally relate. I actually went to the dentist when I was pregnant with Cali. I got HUGE with her and was miserable. Anyway I walk into the dentist office, miserable and swollen and the lady behind the desk kept saying don't you loooovve being pregnant? isn't it the best? and on and on, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her. Babies I love, pregnancy...not so much. You will have 2 great babies in a little while. Just hang in there!

Jacqui said...

I hate it when people tell me how great I look. I feel like they were caught staring and felt like they had to say something. I wear sweats that fit like sausage casings and slippers. Tell me how hot I look next year when I'm doing my hair again and wearing four inch heels every time I leave the house. Then I'll buy it. Good luck!

kelly said...

oh my gosh i hate tinker bell nurse and i was told NEVER to use the word "hate." you really do look great...they are all just jealous. (haha, that's what i kept telling myself when i was in your position).

Scratch the hostile fay said...


real twins?

I'd hate to see what you look like with "fake" twins!!


But you have to forgive the stupidity sometimes. Folks speak before their brain has a chance to shut them up.

Hang in there.